As we finished eating dinner one night, we had a conversation about marriage, and one of my sons said offhandedly, “Monogamy? Pshtt,” and waved his hand like he was dismissing it (monogamy, that is). Now, this son in particular likes to sometimes say shocking things to get a reaction. And I don’t normally react, but this had me curious at the very least, not to mention a little worried.
I didn’t know monogamy was on the table, so to speak. So without appearing like “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??” I delved a little further. I didn’t know if this son believe in polygamy, or if he just didn’t believe in marriage and was planning on being a player, but either way, this was not good. And I could see that Jeff was about to have a stroke.
So as this son and I cleared the table together, I said in what I thought was a relaxed normal voice, “What do you mean, ‘monogamy, pshtt’? Does this mean that you believe in polygamy or are you planning on being a player?” He kind of looked at me incredulously, like he didn’t know what in the world was I talking about. And then, he explained that he thought people jumped into marriage way too fast and didn’t know what they were getting into, that they didn’t take marriage seriously enough. This is true. So what he was in fact telling me was that he didn’t want the Disney version of marriage. He realizes that marriage is not “the happily ever after” that many people jump into and then jump out of just as quickly when things get tough. He realizes that it’s hard work, and he takes it seriously.
If and when this son decides to get married, he will make an especially loving husband and will be in it for keeps.
Sigh of relief. On all accounts.