Boys, Girls, and Heroes


When I was in 1st grade, there was a little boy named Tim who kissed me three different times that year…or maybe I kissed him…but he was definitely the bad boy of the first grade. Tim left after the first grade, and shortly after that, I entered the “boys have cooties” stage for a couple years. I don’t remember liking any other boy at this point…ok, maybe I did like one boy…and then again, I guess I never really did think boys had cooties either…


When I was in 5th grade, I think I might have been a little boy crazy. I remember my friend Sharon and I “shared” a boyfriend named Jon. What that meant back then was that at our Valentine classroom party, we all three squeezed into the same desk. We were all really skinny, Jon being the skinniest, so the three of us managed to fit. But obviously Jon appealed to both Sharon and me seeing that we were willing to share him. Jon left my school after 5th grade…so Sharon and I had to direct our attention elsewhere.


When I was in 6th grade, there was a boy in my class that I liked, but the feeling was not mutual. I don’t know if it was my big owl glasses with my monogrammed initials KW on the glass and my buck teeth that had something to do with my affections not being reciprocated or if it was just the general awkwardness and confusion that seems to accompany that particular age, but I was not liked by this boy. And then again, I think a lot of the girls in my class liked this one particular boy…it’s funny how the herd mentality takes over even when it comes to liking boys. 


When I was in 7th grade, I had a boyfriend who somehow saw beyond the buck teeth and glasses. My really nerdy glasses that had my initials on them had now been replaced by another set of big owl glasses that still swallowed up my entire face. I was still awkward, still confused, and had now entered an extremely clutzy stage where I was getting hurt every few weeks…but there was some other human being interested in me…and it was a boy…and I didn’t have to share him this time.


My children are in various stages of the boy/girl thing. It’s interesting to observe…but I am glad to not have to personally relive this era…


Friends of ours have a little girl named Uma, who Jeremiah says he’s going to marry. He also wants to marry Wonder Woman, and he’s insistent that he will marry both, but he’s four, so we have some time…


Julia, who started K-5 a few weeks ago, has already been kissed twice by a boy in her class during naptime. This little boy was convinced that he was going to continue to smooch on Julia until his mother convinced him otherwise by telling him he was going to have to sit down with Julia’s daddy, who is also his principal. But he’s a nice little kid and probably knows a good thing when he sees it.


Since Julia has 4 brothers, she survives by being just as tough as them, and her all or nothing personality appeals to at least one boy in her class. The other night, she was karate chopping a box in the middle of the kitchen, and as she was beating up on this box, she was stating, “I’m breaking this (the box) down ‘cause if any boy kisses me, I’m breaking their heart.” I’m hoping she holds out with this kind of attitude. But I think we might have a long road ahead of us.


My two middle boys, Jonah (5th grade) and Jake (4th grade), are perhaps a little fascinated with girls and are constantly talking about who these girls like, but for the time being are still holding to their opinion that girls are yucky.


But my oldest son Jesse, on the other hand, is now in 7th grade, where the girls are definitely boy crazy and where the herd mentality has taken over…and my son seems to be the recipient of their interest. Jesse might be interested in girls, but he’s not showing it, and it seems that his nonchalant attitude is what some girls just can’t resist.


Middle school aged kids have an odd way of showing that they like each other. When my dad and my mom were in the 6th grade, my dad pushed my mom’s bike down to show his affection for her…she however failed to grasp the point he was trying to make. In the same way, these girls in Jesse’s class seem to think that hitting boys will make them more likeable…at least more noticeable than the rest of the herd, I guess. I think Jesse’s getting the point these girls are making, but I think these girls are failing to make the favorable impression that they intended.


As a mom I’m not really sure what I think about this. I find it amusing, but at the same time I’m a little apprehensive about the phase we’ve entered…a phase that I don’t think we’ll be leaving any time soon, if ever. This is a phase in life that I don’t think I was prepared to enter, but just being who I am and having the personality I have, I realize I rarely am ready to move on.


One thing I noticed when my children were babies was that just when I felt like I had a baby stage mastered, they would move on to the next stage before I was prepared to leave the last one. This boy/girl thing is no exception. But regardless of how I feel about this, things are changing, and I too must accept the changes without burying my head in the sand and wishing things were different.


So when these girls do start calling (right now, Jeff and I only have cell phones…chuckle) and when my boys and Julia do start to become interested in the opposite sex, I guess Abba will give me the grace to be able to deal.


I realize I cannot control other kids or even my own kids, for that matter, nor do I want to, but I have started praying that Abba will give each of my children “an uncluttered and focused heart” on Him just like David prayed for his son Solomon…who ended up having 700+ wives…Well, maybe that’s a bad example, but I doubt my kids will be going down that road unless they move to a different country.


I do however want my children to realize that the people around them can’t give them what they need, what they long for, which Solomon eventually came to realize. What I too didn’t realize for a very long time and still grapple with is that the people around me, who have issues and insecurities just like me, can’t possibly make me happy…they’re not supposed to. They are a gift from Abba to enjoy being with.


Ginny Owens has a song that says, “I’ve been looking for a hero who’s brave and strong, Someone to love me, Someone to tell me I belong.” I think Jesus best fits that description…the human kind just end up falling off their horses way too often…

8 Responses to “Boys, Girls, and Heroes”

  1. 1 Terri Weber
    September 9, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Please don’t EVER stop writing! I love to read your blog. I especially love the prayer that you pray for your children- “an uncluttered and focused heart” on Him. We should all say that prayer over our children.

    In Christ,
    Terri Weber

  2. September 9, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Thanks, Terri! Your words have been a huge encouragement to me today!

  3. 3 Conny Dempsey
    September 9, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    Kim: It was a great article. You should write for Guidepost or some magazine that ha a large circulation. More people need to hear from a Mom’s heart.b You definitely have a gift from God.

  4. 4 shel
    September 9, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    so cute 🙂 Seth has really funny stories from school too…we’ve enjoyed hearing about how girls show they are interested in him…it brings back memories!
    Miss you…give those precious kids hugs!

  5. 5 Rachael
    September 9, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    WOW! Kim, you are a GREAT writer. I really enjoyed this!

  6. 6 LeeAnne
    September 10, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    so cute is so true, but I don’t like the warning that lies behind those words girl!
    Scary…….just kidding. You have great insight and wisdom and I plan to learn
    from you so that my kids turn out so perfect – Ha! That’s a good one, huh?
    No really, I do learn from you though, please keep writing and sharing your heart!:)

  7. 7 Elizabeth R.
    September 13, 2008 at 8:27 am

    I laughed out loud at this!

    It is good to be able to keep up with your family this way. I enjoy reading your blog so much.

  8. 8 angiebledsoe
    September 16, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Enjoyed your blog…love your outlook. Keep writing. Peace to you….

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