Such a Kim Thing (Part 2)

I went to church a couple of weeks ago, not because I wanted to be there, and I would have skipped that day, but I had to go because I signed our family up to do preschool children’s church, and it happened to be our week. But I was in a bad way and was irritated and did not particularly want to be around anyone. I don’t really fake it when I’m having a rough time, so I wanted to wait in the car and then slink in right before the service started. I wanted to spare the people around me my bad mood and not vomit all my “hardships” on one of my unsuspecting friends when I attempted to answer her innocent “How are you?”

So, when Jeff got out of the van with the kids, he locked the door, not realizing that I was going to sit in the van for a while, and that I would eventually make my stealthy, invisible entrance into church.

After about 10 minutes of sitting in the van, I was tired of being hot and thought that the service would be about ready to start.

I tried to get out of the already locked van, but the car alarm went off, and the van automatically re-locked itself  before I could jump out.  

Great anti-theft device…the thief can’t get out after he’s locked himself inside…I don’t really think the car people quite thought that one through. I’m sure I missed that recall somehow.

I didn’t happen to have my keys or my phone that day either, so I was stuck. Meanwhile, the alarm was still going off, and I wanted to crawl into the floorboard. I began to wonder if Jeff could hear the alarm from inside the church building and if he would rescue me from my stupid inferno. I also began to wonder if the car alarm ever shuts off  by itself. I can now attest to the fact that it does eventually shut off .

By this time, I was now beginning to picture myself sitting in the van for the length of the service, sweating to death because I can’t get out, and I’m realizing how absolutely ridiculous this all is…myself included.

So I tried the door again. Car alarm sounded again, and I still couldn’t get the door open.  I crawled into the back because now I’m more than a little embarrassed that I’m locked in the van and can’t get out and can’t get the alarm to stop going off. I lowered the seat down as far as it would go, so the few people walking into church would not be able to see me.  

I thought I would give the door one last try, this time from the back seat. I unlocked the door…car alarm went off and I quickly tried to open the door. I’m not exactly known for my speed, but I was happy (as happy as I could be on this particular day) because it opened.

I casually walked into church…to the sound of the car alarm.

But, sadly, my story doesn’t end here.

Jeff and I did our duty and worked children’s church, and I got out of there with my kids as fast as I could, still not wanting to have to try to carry on a conversation with anyone.  We got everyone into the van and drove out of the church parking lot, only to hear th-blump, th-blump, th-blump coming from the passenger’s back side. 


The day before, I had just traveled home from my grandmother’s house in Maryland by myself with the kids… 13 hours…and the very next day we have a flat tire…the day that I’m desperately trying to NOT draw attention to myself.

And, yes, I was thankful that it didn’t happen during my trip , but I was irritated that it would happen right after church. Much to my chagrine, we turned around and headed back to the church parking lot to change the tire.  Jeff said I could wait inside while he and the boys changed the tire…I don’t think so.

I stood in the sun beside the van, hoping that no one would notice that we have the car jacked up off the ground and and are changing one of our tires in the middle of the parking lot. I was tapping my foot, hoping to hurry the process along, while Jeff is in the middle of a teaching lesson and having the boys help him change the tire. Each one had to take a turn doing something…taking off lug nuts, unwinding whatever. Normally, I would have thought that was so cool that he was getting the boys to help him, but not this day…it always takes SO MUCH longer when you get kids involved….especially five kids.  Meanwhile, a friend of ours stopped to chat, asked if he could help and slowed the process down further. I tried to nicely shoo him away while trying to get everything and everyone back in the van. Finally, we finished and headed home.

Thankfully for everyone that afternoon, I took a much needed nap.

Car alarm going off while being locked in the van AND flat tire…nice day for me to try to be invisible.


6 Responses to “Such a Kim Thing (Part 2)”

  1. 1 Danielle Sturgill
    July 5, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    Oh Kim!!! I know that you don’t know me that well. But, after reading this post, if we were to ever live closer to each other, I KNOW that we would be great friends!!!!

  2. July 5, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    I was wondering if this stuff happens to other people. Would love to hear some stories! I’m thinking I will still be doing this kind of stuff when I’m 60…I think that’s why my husband likes me so much…I think I amuse him with my shenanigans.

    Danielle, I know we would be good friends!! Would love to talk next time we’re in Anderson!

  3. 3 Rachael
    July 6, 2010 at 10:32 am

    Oh my goodness. This made me laugh so hard. I do miss you, friend.

  4. 4 Ken Wilson
    July 6, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    After reading this Patty handed me the computer and said “This sound like what would happen to me!” I agree this sounds exactly like something that would happen to Patty. You are not alone! Love You Guys!

    Ken Wilson

  5. 5 Beth Martin
    July 7, 2010 at 7:44 am

    I can totally relate to hiding out in the car!

    I love the part about Jeff teaching the boys. It’s so annoying when I’m being a total jerk and Andy all of a sudden is Dad of the year, being patient and gracious to everyone. I know he doesn’t do this to make me feel bad, but it inevitably does make me feel awful. I guess that’s one of those balance things in marriage. I like to think that when he’s being a dork I get a little extra grace too.

    Anyway, thanks for sharing Kim. You aren’t alone in your sulky “just let me be invisible days.”

  6. 6 Theresa
    July 9, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    I’m proud of you for hanging in there and doing your duty that you signed up for. So many people (possibly myself) would have got someone else to cover that day. Thanks for turning your bummer of a day into an amusing blog post. We should all not take ourselves so seriously all the time. It’s good to step back and laugh!

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