Manna in the Wilderness

In my post “Something to Talk About, ” I told the story about the crazy way in which Jeff lost his temporary job and how he didn’t get paid for the last two weeks he worked. Many people would be in a really tough spot if they didn’t get their last paycheck, and we weren’t any different. 

But I found that Abba really got my attention through Jeff losing his job, because I thought I had everything mapped out. I had really wanted for Jeff to get on full-time, so that we would have a little security. I should really know better by now.

But I began to trust, because, really, what other options do I have? I know Abba’s going to take care of us. He’s always done so before. It may not be in the way that I think that it will be, or maybe not even in the way I would like for it to be, but He knows the way that’s best for me.  Always.

So, I have thrown up my hands and am like, “Ok, Abba, this is you; it’s all you! ‘Cause I got nothing.”

I’m just wondering how long He’s been waiting to hear those words come out of my mouth.

Before word had even gotten around that Jeff had lost his job, a friend of mine messaged me on facebook about wanting to bring us some food. Other friends and family gave us a few hundred dollars. And I knew He was providing.  But, in the back of my mind, I knew His provision, so far, wasn’t going to be enough to cover future bills, like the mortgage. But He said to not worry about tomorrow.

But, practically speaking, I was beginning to think about what items we could sell in our house that would bring in some cash flow. Jeff and I came to the conclusion that most of our stuff isn’t worth much (we bought most of our stuff pretty cheap, and we’ve been given a lot of hand-me-downs, so it wasn’t “nice” to start with), and after having 5 kids bouncing around on furniture and spilling stuff all over the place, well, we don’t have anything that would bring in more than $50, and I might be delusional in even thinking that.

But I began cleaning out closets because I’m going to have a yard sale.  I didn’t make a whole lot from my last yard sale…maybe enough to pay our phone bill, but it was something.   But amazingly, I really wasn’t worried about it. There comes a point when you have to laugh (guffaw and snort a little, actually) because the situation seems so desperate.

In the meantime, we’ve realized that He is opening the door for Jeff to start his own business where he wants to go in and help non-profits, which we would never have been open to him doing if he had been given a full-time job with the company he was working for.  But starting a business takes some time to start bringing in income.

I kept thinking that if Abba wanted us to pursue this business, then He was going to have to make it happen. He was going to have to provide enough money for us to be able to live.

I prayed for a very specific amount of money ($2,000), thinking that for me to ask for so much was absurd, and that maybe,if He answered my prayer, that it would come in a little bit at a time.  A few days later, we got a check for $2,000 from family members. This family member said, “You know, we always talk about how God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and we just wanted you to have at least one cow!”

This has now happened twice. The exact amount I was praying for coming in within a few days. But it has nothing to do with me…it’s all Him, and I’m just so grateful that it doesn’t depend on me.  Just like He provided manna for the children of Israel in the wilderness, He’s doing the same for us and throwing in a few quail every now and then.

I’ll hear Jeremiah, who is almost 6, walk around singing or whistling this song that one of Jeff’s aunts have all the kids sing at family reunions right before we eat. “Here we stand like birds in the wilderness waiting to be fed.” That’s what I feel like…like I’m standing there like a baby bird with my mouth wide open waiting for Abba to fill it. And what a great place to be!

I heard yesterday that one of Jeff’s cousins got a job after being out of work for a few months, and they were down to the wire as well. I’m praying specifically for others who don’t have jobs and are almost beside themselves not knowing what they are going to do. I pray that Abba will make it very clear and will bring provision but most importantly that they know who who holds their hand in the middle of their path.

I don’t know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I’m covered with His blood.
Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I’m very grateful for the gifts that He gives, but I don’t want to become so enamored with the gifts and the blessings that I lose sight of the Giver of those gifts. Jesus says in John 6 that He is the Bread of Life. Not only does He provide our daily bread, but He is our Bread…He Himself is the One who sustains us by His own life. 

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.  Psalm 81:10


2 Responses to “Manna in the Wilderness”

  1. 1 LeeAnne
    August 2, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Wow girl! God is so amazing, yes?! I’m so glad to hear you got your cow and some quail, hehe! Isn’t it awesome how He pays such attention to detail? We’re so happy for this blessing in your life right now! We know how it’s needed to just get through the stuff! Stay strong! One day at a time girl! Love you lots.

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