One More Kim Thing That Seems to Beat Them All

We were running late for Julia’s soccer practice which is ridiculous since we have from 1 o’clock on to get ready for this 5:30 practice, but it seems that we’re always pulling our hair out at the last minute trying to find cleats or water bottles or kids. Today, we couldn’t  find Julia’s soccer ball or Jeremiah (he had sneaked off to the neighbor’s house).

Earlier, Jeff had gotten back from an errand and had not parked the van in the carport but had kind of angled it. I had only managed to round up 2 kids and get them into the van, and I was still waiting for 2 more.  To save time, I began backing the van up, so I could shoot out of there when everyone was finally in their seats. So the van doors were still open as I began backing up. There is a tree that I saw in my rearview mirror that I was trying hard not to hit, but I was starting from an odd angle that I don’t usually start from (not Jeff’s fault here…I’m just not that good with vehicles and parking and geometry).

I managed to clear the tree, and one more kid got in the car, but the doors were still open because I was still waiting for the last kid that I was taking with me. So I tried to completely get the van centered so I could just take off as soon as the last kid hopped into the van. I had already missed the tree, but as I was pulling forward I failed to take into account that the sliding side door was still open on the driver’s side, so contact with the tree occurred. I don’t remember hearing a noise. I just remember impact and feeling a little puzzled as to what had just happened. I looked out my window to see that part of the bark of the tree was now hanging off the tree as well as some tree pieces lying on the grass, along with our 2001 Toyota panel that has SIENNA across the bottom. Laughter insanely erupts from somewhere inside me. I’m talking belly laughing here, and Jesse comes over to the side of the van where the bark and the panel are lying and he’s like, “Dang, man, what did you do?”  And that just makes me laugh harder. And then I see Jeff walking toward the van, but he’s not laughing. When I see his face, I somehow manage to suppress my belly laugh to a shoulder-shaking giggle.

I really don’t know what causes this reaction in me when things like this happen because I know that I really should not be laughing…

A long time ago, we were in a restaurant when the boys were little. Jesse was 3; Jonah was 2, and Jake was a baby. We’re all sitting so nicely in our chairs (Jake in his car seat on the floor), and the other two boys for some reason do not have booster seats. What can I say? We lived in rural Wisconsin at the time…the po-dunk restaurant that we were at probably didn’t even know about booster seats. Anyway, cute little Jonah was sitting across from me and Jeff on his big grown-up seat, and then he tumbles sideways off his chair into the floor. One minute, he’s there, the next, he’s not. Once again, crazy laughter comes over me. But Jonah’s still on the floor, and I don’t want him to see me laughing…I struggled to make myself stop laughing so I could get up to make sure he was ok. He wasn’t hurt, just a little stunned that he had fallen off the chair and was lying on the floor. Jeff and I helped him get himself off the floor and put back into his chair. So, yes, I laugh at inappropriate times, so this was no surprise here that I would laugh at this stupid, crazy thing I’ve done to our van and our tree.

But the problem with the van wasn’t just that the panel fell off, but that the door wouldn’t actually close. So Jeff slammed it shut, but apparently, I really rammed that van door into the tree even harder than I thought I had because the dashboard light, you know the one that shows a door is open, is still on, and it looks like it will remain so. And as we were driving, I noticed you can hear the tires on the road outside, kind of like being in a convertible, but not.

A couple of years ago, Jeff backed this same van into a pole. Our van has a good size dent in the back bumper (same side where the door won’t now completely close), and the pole that he backed into is still crooked. And, yes, I believe it was dark when his incident occurred. But to give myself credit here,  I have never done anything at all like this in our entire 18 years of marriage. I mean, sure I’ve probably had a few close calls, but I have never, ever run into anything.   And anyone who knows me well knows that this kind of thing should have happened a long time ago. Jeff still doesn’t think it’s funny.

Some positives in all of this:

  • No one was hurt.
  • At least we have 1 side door that works relatively well, so the kids don’t have to crawl through the back door of the van.
  • At least our other van was not involved in the incident.
  • I didn’t ram our van into someone else’s car.

Even after all of this, I did get Julia to practice almost on time, and after practice my kids and I were discussing how crazy the “van incident” was, including my laughing fit. And Jeremiah, who is 6, said, “You’re a car murderer.”  Once again, laughter…

2 Responses to “One More Kim Thing That Seems to Beat Them All”

  1. September 11, 2010 at 6:54 am

    I love that you laughed. Laughter is a wonderful response.

    If it makes you feel better, I’ve totaled one car, got myself t-boned in another (costing our insurance company well over 75 BIG ones after the law suit), AND rammed into a pole causing a nice dent and a blue scratch on our van. We are not even going to talk about speeding tickets. So you are not alone.

    I TRY to be a good driver . . . . I really do.

  2. 2 Cin
    September 17, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    Here`s to driving ugly! I`m driving ugly, too. Not as bad as Sweet Terry…I hit his car & well I`m bigger so well, you know.

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