Too Something…

When things were going great
      I crowed, “I’ve got it made.
   I’m God’s favorite.
      He made me king of the mountain.”
   Then you looked the other way
      and I fell to pieces. (Psalm 30)

Yep, this is me…the crowing and the falling to pieces.

I love the Psalms. I feel like the people who wrote the Psalms and I would have been good friends. They seem to be all over the map with their mountaintop highs and their death valley lows, just like me sometimes.

But the thing I appreciate is that they didn’t try to fake it by pretending they were all right when they weren’t.  They didn’t feel like they had to clean up their act in order to be good with God. And, sometimes, they weren’t good with God, and they expressed that too.  They let it all hang out…the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I’m refreshed by these kind of people, actually. My friends are people like this.  They’re not afraid to praise God one minute, and then in the next admit how they’re battling discouragement.

Later on, in the same Psalm 30 it says,

You did it: you changed wild lament
      into whirling dance;
   You ripped off my black mourning band
      and decked me with wildflowers.
   I’m about to burst with song;
      I can’t keep quiet about you.
   God, my God,
      I can’t thank you enough.

Talk about change of heart and roller coaster ride of emotion. I’m glad that Abba can handle my emotions and my wrestling and my questions and even my fear because I don’t really have the trust and faith I thought I had.  But, the greatest thing? I feel no condemnation or judgment coming this way from Him. (Romans 8) 

I know that some of my favorite authors and musicians are/were men and women of faith who went through “dark nights of the soul.”  Their writing speaks to me the most, because we’re all human, and suffering and trials do come. But they’re real about their struggles.

In Matthew 5, Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” The Message says it this way, “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope.  With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”

I think I’m at the end of my rope so often that God is able to show up that much more. And then there’s twirling and laughing and arms raised…and gratefulness for rescue once again.


2 Responses to “Too Something…”

  1. 1 LeeAnne
    November 17, 2010 at 11:39 pm

    yep, you’re right on target again girl and I’m one of those emo’s all over the grid type of friends of yours, right? I feel your pain and your joy, only too real – just like us! Don’t ever change that about you, I love that in you, probably because we relate so well! Hang in there and know I always love you, no matter what mood you’re in! Miss you soooooo much. Hugs & prayers!

  2. November 23, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    You really need a like button.

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