Misplaced Boots and Faith

I lost my snow boots, and I was really bummed since we’ve had more snow than we normally get. I hate losing my stuff. It usually ends up in me stalking around the house like a crazy woman and throwing things around in a rather passive aggressive way to get others to help me in my attempt to find whatever I’ve lost. Jeff pointed out that I didn’t do that this time with my lost boots, so maybe I’m growing up a little.

But I was still saddened by the fact that I couldn’t find them. And then, I thought I may have mistakenly put them into a give-away bag that had already been given away.

So, to go sledding, I had to wear some old crappy, no-tread-left tennis shoes. Until I found THE Merrells, used but still in perfect condition, that had been given to us for the boys. ( I keep all used shoes and just keep passing them down to each of my boys…I could open up my own used shoe shop…too bad there’s no market in that).

I put on the Merrells, and I felt like Cinderella in tennis shoes. They fit perfectly, and I immediately bonded with these shoes and began talking effusively about how wonderful they were.

Jake’s funny about shoes too, and I think Jake’s shoes become part of him because he’s worn the same cheap black pair of tennis shoes for a few years now. He mumbled in passing one day about his shoes being too small. So I hauled down my shoe shop of shoes and told him to try on a few pairs. He apparently didn’t find any he liked because he continued to wear his beat up black ones. So, the other day, as I was dancing around in my Merrells, that I hadn’t taken off except to go to bed, I said to Jake, “Hey, go get a pair of socks and try these shoes on. You’d love them.” 

Of course, he declined and ducked out of the room in a Jake-like manner. But, later that night, I happened to notice that he had socks on, and he mumbled something about shoes. With him, you have to catch what he says the first time because it won’t likely be repeated. Somehow I caught what he wanted, and I took my shoes off and handed them to him. He put them on and said they fit. I pointed out how wonderful they were, and he nodded.

I have to say that I was a little sad to have lost the most comfortable pair of shoes I have ever put on my feet, but I was happy that the son, who used to find heart-shaped rocks for me, had finally found a pair of shoes that he was comfortable with. He brought me his old black shoes and told me that not only were they too small, but that they had also been leaking. I threw them in the trash, and Jake felt loved.

It snowed again, and I was not looking forward to wearing those old tennis shoes again in the snow. But I went to go get the sleds out of the back of the van and to my surprise and amazement, underneath the sleds were my snow boots. I had thrown them in there over a month ago when we had gone to Jeff’s parents for Christmas.

That’s what I felt like happened to my faith too for a little while too. I misplaced it and then when I was least expecting it, I was gifted with it once again. I think sometimes it comes like a thunderbolt and sometimes like a whisper, but it always comes.

I find myself all too often like the children of Israel…lack of faith, whiny and complaining. And then to my amazement water pours out of the rock or manna falls to the ground. I think sometimes I’m afraid that this will be the time that Abba won’t show up, so I brace myself and try to become dependent on things other than Him.

I don’t get it. I don’t get why He continues to show up, even when I misplace my faith and and throw my temper tantrums and my sulky pity parties. But thankfully, it’s not about me, it’s about Him…His goodness and His love.

 If we are faithless, he remains faithful-  for he cannot deny himself. (2 Tim 2)

*                              *                               *                               *                                   *

It’s Jake’s birthday today. His twelfth. This birthday always feels like the last of something…you know the last year before teenage-hood. But I’ve seen it twice before, so I feel like it’s becoming old hat to me. But I know it’s not to Jake, so I hype it up, even though he would probably prefer that I not. But I want him to know he’s important, so I do it anyway. He grins sheepishly…(happy birthday, jakey).


2 Responses to “Misplaced Boots and Faith”

  1. 1 mary darnell
    January 30, 2011 at 11:37 am

    [video src="http://www.barryandmichelle.com/files/redemption.mp4" /]
    Check out this song!
    This is one of dearest friends. She tours a lot in Nashville.
    I thought maybe you would relate like I did.
    <Mary Darnell

  2. February 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    That was beautiful Kim! I got a little misty about you giving Jake your shoes. Some people may think that’s a fairly typical mommy sort of sacrifice, but I think it’s a wonderful sign of grace in your life. I would not have wanted to give up the shoes honestly. And then the beauty and “well isn’t that just like God” moment when you found your boots! I LOVE it! Thank you so much for sharing that story with us!

    I also think it’s cute that you and your 12 year old son are wearing the same size shoe.

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